Contradiction is our middle name.

I lie in bed tossing and turning. I can’t fall asleep. I’ve put on the fan on the highest setting and tried going to bed twice now, but certain unsettling thoughts start to sink in and I felt like I should put these thoughts into writing. So here it goes: there are certain things in life that I’ve learned for the past 21 years of my life:

We all want to feel some sort of significance. We want to feel that we are important to the world and the people we are close to, yet we often say or do hurtful things we don’t mean.

We want to feel unique, but not so unique that we become an abstract concept that people are too scared to interact with. People don’t truly really like “different”, and if so, then isn’t the concept of unique only within a limited range?

We want to be understood, but we don’t try hard enough to put ourselves in the shoes of others or we don’t listen long enough before judging another.

We’d like to think that we are more accepting than we actually truly are.

We hold concerts to raise money/ fight wars in the name of freedom, but we can’t even bestow the same kind of freedom we all yearn and search for to fellow human beings just like you and me.

We are such contradictory creatures- what we want/need and what we do are not in line, yet we are surprised/ angered/ disappointed by the outcome of things.

I read somewhere that true wisdom comes from the understanding of impermanence. Everything is impermanent. I’d say that we would all treat each other very differently if we knew the world was going to end tomorrow. Things like what others do in their own pursuit of happiness would not matter as much to others. But that’s the sad thing, we need death to remind us of what’s truly important in our life, and what shouldn’t matter as much.

So love those you’ve always wanted to love. Give others a taste of what you can fully give without expecting anything in return. Try to be a Mother Teresa to the world. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. You never know when you will leave this world. And whenever you feel down or sad, remember that every second that you spend frowning, is every second you could be smiling.

Death is the single best invention of life. And the funny thing is, this is still contradictory. We should all have contradiction as our middle name.

Now that I’ve organized my thoughts, I’m going to try to fall asleep for the third time. Goodnight.

Song of the moment: Heartbeat- Enrique Eglesias ft Nicole Sherzinger