Awesome day at the city mall

It's been a while since I've posted here. I have decided that I'm going to use tumblr for posting short thoughts and this blog as a basis for longer contemplations.

Anyways, I woke up today and was annoyed/ borderline pissed because some idiot was doing construction work starting at 830am. I decided to finally get out of bed at 9am and woke up to a message from JCU library saying that I owe them $60 for damaging one of the books I borrowed (I forgot to take the book out of my backpack when I put it in the laundry = water damage- note to self: books do not need showers and always check in the middle pocket for items even though you think there isn't anything in there). Then I went for breakfast and breakfast ends at 9am and surprise (not), my daily fruit and yoghurt favourites were already packed away (at this point I'm just like, nooooooo) and so I just toasted my bread. Clearly I wasn't having the best mornings of my life.

Then just like that, the lunch lady came out and asked me if I wanted to have some fruit and yoghurt and i was like YES PLEASE (without trying to look that keen) . Anyways, I decided to go to get a bikini with an Australian flag on it at the city mall. On the way to the bus stop, I ended up chatting for about half an hour with the lunch lady, who happened to tell me about her adventures in Canada when she was visiting Vancouver. She told me that the city mall was newly renovated. I ended up at a souvenir shop, got my bikini and chatted with the lady there for ages. She's moved around and lived in various parts of Australia so we were just talking about travels. She lives on Magnetic Island (which I thought was pretty neat). I was asking her about Australia and which parts of it are really beautiful and such (I wanted to plan for my midterm rural placement next year). Anyways, at the end of our chat, she gave me a raffle ticket and I continued browsing through the shop. She ended up giving me 2 more raffle tickets.

In the midst of exploring, I wandered off into this hidden photo gallery and in it I saw a brochure for a photography tution and inquired the guy behind the counter about it. Turns out that he was Ken Goldstein himself and the photographs there were all taken by him. (He's a professional photographer and one of his clients is Jupiters Casino so he does a lot of their special events- which I thought was pretty cool). I just said that I was just an amateur photographer and was thinking of buying a DSLR camera but not sure which one to get as a beginner. He then proceeded to give me an in-depth explanation of which camera he recommended me getting. He recommended the Nikon D3100 which cost about 700$ for the body itself in Australia, and when I told him I was going back to Canada in a few days, he suggested that I buy it there since it's cheaper (though he also does sell camera items). He also explained to me about camera bags and which ones I should get (he adviced me to stick with a brand called Lowe Pro) and the importance of getting a tripod and getting a good one but not ridiculously expensive (good value for money basically and based on necessity). I thought it was really cool that he didn't try to get me to buy the camera items from him. He also adviced me to stick with Canon and Nikon if I'm thinking of getting DSLR cameras since they are the only ones who produce professional quality products and also to always get lens from the same camera the body is from. He also told me about the private tution he offers- it's $400 for a full day (from 630am until 5pm). It is quite costly so I'm just thinking about it for now. He also offered to answer any questions that I might have when buying my gear (He just told me to look him up on facebook and just message him).

Anyways, by this time I was starving and bought myself a sandwich and while doing this, found out that the draw for the raffle tickets I got was happening in 10 minutes so I waited. WOO! I won $40 CBD dollars at the raffle that I could spend at any shop at city mall (I was super excited because though it was only $40, I NEVER GET THIS LUCKY!). I was thinking of getting some cook books and went to a used book shop and found that Jamie's 30 minute cook book was overpriced there. Anyways, in the same shop there was a tea store that I've never noticed before, so being curious, I started asking questions about tea and such. I ended up buying my mom 5 different tea blends with my CBD dollars (I feel compelled to describe these teas because I think they are such a treat! Hopefully my mom will feel the same)

1. Japanese Evening Mist - green tea with cornflower blossom, rose petals and calendula

2. Darjeeling- Black tea (apparently this is the champagne of tea)

3. Daintree & Wattleseed- Black tea blend (this is an Australian tea)

4. Blood Orange Tea- Green tea with orange (apparently it has a tangy taste)

5. Christmas Tea- Black tea with fruit, cinnamon, cloves and almond (seems suited to buy for the month of December)

I also got myself a cup of Japanese evening mist - it was super awesome.

She also told me about some workshops and tea tastings she will be doing next year. I think it's so exciting!!! Because of all this tea choosing shenanigans, I missed my 201 bus by 5 minutes and while waiting for the next one, the 202 bus came first so I took that. The bus driver dropped me off right across George Roberts (he actually asked me if I wanted to be dropped off there or at the actual bus stop!). Isn't that really nice?

I think it's just so awesome that I totally expected to have such a crap day and it turned out to be pretty damn good! People can be genuinely nice if you just take time to listen to them, even only for a little bit! I love Townsville :)

Tumblr time!

For those who are following me here, I have moved to tumblr. Here's where all the magic happens: http://izzytakesonoz.tumblr.com/

Note: This MIGHT have something to do with the fact that John Mayer also uses tumblr

The mismatch between what science knows and what business does- A talk by Dan Pink

If you get the chance, I recommend watching this video:

Some of the great points made in the video are:

- Rewards and punishments only work for a small number of tasks involving simple sets of rules and a clear goal to reach / involving only mechanical skill - in this case, rewards work because they narrow our focus and concentrate our minds

- Expectedly, the higher the pay, the better the performance here

- However, once the tasks called for even rudimentary cognitive skill, a larger rewards actually led to poorer performance

- In fact, these rewards often destroy creativity, so the secret to high performance isn't rewards and punishments, it is rather those unseen intrinsic motivators and doing things that matter

- Dan Pink suggested that we use a new building block involving: AUTONOMY, MASTERY and PURPOSE

- With regards to autonomy, self-direction works better- so in a business setting, putting money off the table and giving people autonomy (over their time and such)

- He talks about a model called ROWE (results only work environments) that's created by 2 American consultants and is in place in about a dozen companies around North America. In this model, people don't have schedules. As long as they get their work done, how they do it and when they do it is totally up to them. This actually has led to increased productivity, better worker satisfaction and lower rates of turnover.

- He makes a final proof with this case by using the Wikipedia model vs the Encarta model- where Wikipedia was so much more successful

So say goodbye to love, and hold your head up high.

The lyrics to City and Colour's song "Waiting" is especially haunting as it seems to depict the feelings of someone who is depressed:

A coma might feel better than this,
attempting to discover where to begin.
You're weighed down, you're full of something.
Of sickness, and desertion.
You're weighed down, you're full of something,
you're underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love,
and hold your head up high.
There's no need to rush
we're all just waiting, waiting to die.

Learning about humility.

I think it's very easy when you are going into a prestigious profession to identify too strongly with your success and your achievements. In my case, it's medicine. (A medical student blog that I won't divulge made me reflect on this point because it was difficult to see the real person behind the doctor role.)

Michael Phelps, who took home 8 gold medals- the most anyone have ever won in an Olympic game, gave this advice. How humble of him to say this!

The article can be found here if you are interested: http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/08/22/michael-phelps-top-5-fundamentals-for-pulling-off-the-impossible/

I remember someone giving me the advice that being a doctor is a job and that it should not define who you are as an individual.

At the end of the day, I think the most important thing to remember is that you are the same kind of person before all of this happened, and simply remembering this will remind you to practice humility daily.

Morning tea- an art composition

The original composition

A closer look at the different components:

Created on 5th August 2010 via a used English breakfast teabag.

Bad news never had good timing, then the circle of friends will defend the silver lining- A John Mayer Tribute.

Live in Los Angeles

Frayed corners

Where the light is...

Frayed edges

Worn down over time

Simple groove

Simplicity

The Band Set

The Trio Set

All photos taken by Izzy

Guitar Deconstructed.

All photos taken by Izzy

Things we can learn from the Australian Aboriginals...

I attended a cross-cultural workshop this past Monday where we learned about the Aboriginal culture and about the Australian policies that drove them to the state they are currently in. We were taught some parts of their culture and their beliefs. It is the belief in Dreamtime (which is the era before the Earth was created) that is the central, unifying theme in the Aboriginal culture.

We were also informed why land was so sacred and important to the Aboriginals. Land is very sacred to them because it is the core of their spirituality and is the essence of their culture. Since they didn't have maps, they used song lines passed down from generation to generation to depict a tribe's landscape, carrying pertinent information needed for survival in Australia's harsh terrain. Thus, when the British came and took over their land, they essentially washed out their entire culture, leading to the social ills seen today. This relationship between their land and their culture has been misunderstood for the past 200 years and is key to understanding the important issues surrounding Indigenous people today.

We were also shown excerpts from the DVD "The First Australians", which I thought had a great narrative (and cool music). They depicted the colonisation of Australia and the killing of the Aboriginals by poisoning their water and such. In fact, Aboriginals were at some point seen as being less valuable than farm animals...

What was really eye-opening for me was the fact that the Aboriginals had been around for 60 000 years (in fact, the indigenous cultures of Australia are the oldest living cultural history in the world). European settlers had only been in Australia for about 200-300 years. The video raised a point that we must learn to appreciate these natives, and not trying to understand or learn about their way of life would be a very stupid thing since they've been around much longer than we have. What I believe could be learned from Australian Aboriginals are:

- let nature time to regrow (these natives were hunter gatherers who moved around to ensure that resources were not depleted)

- family is very important (these natives had a kinship system, where their nephews and nieces were also considered their children which I thought was pretty cool)

Also, did you know that it was only between 1967-1972 that white Australians went to the polls to cast ballots for Aboriginals to gain citizenship. So the natives were the original landowners, and 200 years later, they are then recognized as citizens of the country that they owned in the first place? How ridiculous is that?!? A quote from the presentation that struck me was that "the enemy is the inability of the system to cope with people who are inherently different". It has come to my attention that so many conflicts in life has been due to this simple concept- of not being able to understand others who are different.

I am really glad to have gained a new respect for Aboriginals and their way of life. I think it is very important as future physicians to be able to understand and respect another culture, and at least try to see things from their point of view. This way, the advice that you give your future patients is something that they can follow, something that does not clash with their personal beliefs/ culture.

That's my take on it anyways.

Life is truly and ultimately about perspectives.

Today in our genetics guided learning session, we had an individual with oculocutaneous albinism come in for a Q&A session. Oculocutaneous albinism is basically a condition that affects the pigmentation of the skin, hair and eyes. Affected individuals do have visual problems to the point of near blindness (some need guide dogs, others need walking sticks) and this is often due to the presence of nystagmus (eye moving from side to side constantly such that their eyes cannot focus on a specific point). This is apparently due to the abnormal way their optic nerves are wired to their brain. Also, affected individuals look very pale (since they do not produce the melanin pigment) and cannot be exposed to the sun (they have to put on so much sunscreen and burn within a few minutes of sun exposure). At this point, I'm just imagining not being able to sit on the beach in the afternoon tanning (painful I say!).

What struck me as really surprising and enlightening was this individual's outlook on life. He had SUCH a great sense of humour. He would crack so many jokes - amongst them was the phrase "the blind leading the blind" to describe his blind boss leading him at work. One of my favourite joke of his was him describing the way other individuals (when he was growing up) would tease him, where he replied that he would just proceed to kick their ass "crouching tiger, hidden cripple" style. When he was asked how he dealt with not being able to go out in the sun as other individuals do, he simply replied with "well that's just the perfect excuse to be in an air-conditioned room!" I just sat there in awe. Here was this guy, who had this condition (which is considered a serious medical condition) that he could have let bring him down (he could've complained all his life about how he couldn't go out in the sun, or that he couldn't really go to school because he can't really see). Instead, he is one of the most happy-go-lucky person I've ever met. I can say that there are so many other individuals out there with 5 perfectly working senses who would complain a lot more than he would on even smaller less significant things. On top of that, this patient did not let his condition hold him back from living life to the fullest as he is striving to be a social worker. How AMAZING and TOUCHING is that?!? His powerful fighting spirit deeply touched me.

He is truly the testament to Randy Pausch's quote "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." Life is truly and ultimately about perspectives. His case also serves as a constant reminder that medicine is not just about treating the condition, it is about treating the individual as a whole. And it is this human aspect of medicine that I know I will truly find rewarding in the years to come.

Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium in Japan

As much as it's awful to keep a whale shark in captivity, this footage of the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium's Kuroshio Sea is so calming and surreal. The song by Barcelona Please Don't Go accompanies it perfectly. I think it's just awesome to watch these marine animals swimming gracefully (I am scared of depths so I don't see myself going scuba diving anytime in the near future...so this is the closest I will get to a live marine creature). I am still in awe even after watching this video countless number of times.

Watching this footage again today actually reminded me of my plan in the past to go camp out in front of a huge aquarium for a romantic sleepover with my ex (we didn't get to do it). Either way, I still want to do it- be it alone, with friends or with that special someone. I can actually see myself not wanting to leave the aquarium and having to be dragged out of the place.

Anyways, just thought that I would share the footage here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7deClndzQw

My favourite line from the song accompanying the footage is

"All those arrows you threw, you threw them away"

In my happy place

I turned off all my lights except for my ambience light. Then put on my headphones and played Joshua Radin's I'd Rather Be With You.

"I need to be bold

Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
Say you feel the way I do"

I'm currently in my happy place where nothing else matters.

Goblet cells containing wine?!?!

We were told yesterday in our GI medicine lecture that goblet cells are named so because they resemble wine goblets. My first thought was, how do wine goblets look like? (and got distracted in the process) Anyways, so I decided to compare side by side a goblet cell and a wine goblet to gauge their resemblance.

Ehh, I wouldn't say that the resemblance is uncanny...your thoughts? Nevertheless, every time I examine a goblet cell under a microscope, I'm going to see wine goblets and think "Ooo...but where's the wine?" One thing I got out of this though is that if I'll remember medical facts like these (well this one is relatively unimportant but you know what I mean) by thinking up of silly associations, so be it! On y va! (I think that means here we go in French)

Alright, I'm going to stop procrastinating and actually open my book now.

Contradiction is our middle name.

I lie in bed tossing and turning. I can’t fall asleep. I’ve put on the fan on the highest setting and tried going to bed twice now, but certain unsettling thoughts start to sink in and I felt like I should put these thoughts into writing. So here it goes: there are certain things in life that I’ve learned for the past 21 years of my life:

We all want to feel some sort of significance. We want to feel that we are important to the world and the people we are close to, yet we often say or do hurtful things we don’t mean.

We want to feel unique, but not so unique that we become an abstract concept that people are too scared to interact with. People don’t truly really like “different”, and if so, then isn’t the concept of unique only within a limited range?

We want to be understood, but we don’t try hard enough to put ourselves in the shoes of others or we don’t listen long enough before judging another.

We’d like to think that we are more accepting than we actually truly are.

We hold concerts to raise money/ fight wars in the name of freedom, but we can’t even bestow the same kind of freedom we all yearn and search for to fellow human beings just like you and me.

We are such contradictory creatures- what we want/need and what we do are not in line, yet we are surprised/ angered/ disappointed by the outcome of things.

I read somewhere that true wisdom comes from the understanding of impermanence. Everything is impermanent. I’d say that we would all treat each other very differently if we knew the world was going to end tomorrow. Things like what others do in their own pursuit of happiness would not matter as much to others. But that’s the sad thing, we need death to remind us of what’s truly important in our life, and what shouldn’t matter as much.

So love those you’ve always wanted to love. Give others a taste of what you can fully give without expecting anything in return. Try to be a Mother Teresa to the world. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. You never know when you will leave this world. And whenever you feel down or sad, remember that every second that you spend frowning, is every second you could be smiling.

Death is the single best invention of life. And the funny thing is, this is still contradictory. We should all have contradiction as our middle name.

Now that I’ve organized my thoughts, I’m going to try to fall asleep for the third time. Goodnight.

Song of the moment: Heartbeat- Enrique Eglesias ft Nicole Sherzinger

John Mayer on Simplicity

I don't remember particularly how I ended up reading John Mayer's blog. I know what you are thinking, out of all people, why would I bother reading an article by John Mayer about simplicity. To be honest, I wasn't expecting anything philosophical but a good laugh. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised. This article really spoke volumes to me because I feel like I could relate to many of the things he's said (the parts of the article that I thought were particularly interesting are bolded) :

_________________________________________

Simple. by John Mayer Posted on July 13th, 2010

I wish that when I was younger I could have met my current self. We would have sat down at a coffee shop so that I could explain life to young me in terms that only we would understand. It would have saved me a lot of hardship.

You can listen to all the sage wisdom you want, but things only make sense when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. For instance, I’ve been told for three years that Breaking Bad is the best show on television, but only after I watched it was I able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right. Other truths I know now that I can explain them: that I’m not missing any crucial information and that poker really isn’t all that fun; that heartbreaks do fade but they take about a year longer than you expect and by the time they do you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and above all else, life is simpler than you think.

I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.

Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:

People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.

See? It’s simple. :)

______________________________________________

My thoughts (continued): When we see the simplicities of life, I think we can begin to see our problems from another perspective and realize that they aren't as impossible in the grand scheme of things. Ajahn Brahm, a physicist turned monk, once said that actually in the grand scheme of things, our choices don't really matter, whether you picked this car over that one, or to do this action over that action. I like that view of the world. Simple means that we can, instead of worrying about the past or the future, be more aware of the present moment. Now that's beautiful.

On helping others realize their potential...

http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/2010/03/11/the-night-i-gave-up-on-life/

Here is the article in case the link doesn't work in the future:

The Night I Gave Up On Life

by STEVEN AITCHISON on MARCH 11, 2010 ·

I don’t quite know why I am sharing this extremely personal story with you now, except that there is a little voice pushing me to let it out, and I am acting on that.

This story might be upsetting for some and it might make others feel angry and for that I apologise.

I want to tell you about the night I gave up on life.

It was back in 1990, my life looked as if it was going well, I had a lot of friends, I had a decent job, I had travelled a bit, I had good looks, I had money in my pocket, the works. The thing is I wasn’t all that happy and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was unhappy inside. I used to fantasize about ending my life, it was actually a real comfort to know that I had the choice of living or dying.

I used to plan how I was going to end my life so as it would look like an accident to lessen the pain on my family, my favourite fantasy was jumping off a tall building.

One night, I was working in a bar and I was walking the 2 mile walk home late at about 1am. The rain could be heard thundering down onto the pavements. I was walking slowly in the rain as I liked the feel of rain against my skin. I noticed in the distance a dog, and it was limping quite heavily. When the dog got closer, I noticed the dog had only 3 legs as it ran past me. For no reason, I started crying uncontrollably as I felt so sorry for this dog. I couldn’t get the dog out of my mind the next day, and wondered why I was so upset by it. I realised I felt like the dog: alone, soaked, not fully functional and nowhere to go.

A few nights later I decided that the jacket of life no longer fitted me and I was taking the jacket off for good. I said goodnight to my mum and dad, I called my sisters earlier on to tell them I loved them. I took 26 strong sleeping tablets up to my bedroom after telling my dad not to wake me up in the morning for work as I had a days holiday. I sat in bed with the tablets, a glass of milk and cried as I took each tablet. I cried for my mum, and at how heartbroken she would be, I cried for my dad as I had only told him I loved him once in my life. I cried for my sisters as I would miss them terribly and knew they would miss me. I took all 26 tablets and put my head on my pillow to die. I am crying as I write this just now.

I can’t quite remember when I woke up, I was in hospital and two of my friends were there with my mum and dad and sisters. I had been unconscious, I honestly don’t know how long as I have never spoken of this to my family since. The morning after I had taken the tablets my dad was up for work as normal. He didn’t wake me up as I had told him not to, however he heard a bang when he got up at around 5am. Apparently I had fallen out of bed. That fall , and my dad hearing it, saved my life, I believe.

When I woke up in the hospital there was a lot of crying, a lot of questions and a lot of explaining. The hospital psychiatrist came round and asked if I needed help. I told her I knew why I had done it and I was going to rectify the issues in my life. I felt ashamed, guilty, upset and angry at myself at having to put my family through something as awful as this just because I didn’t have the balls to sort out some of my problems.

I didn’t feel I fitted into life, with the friends I had, the job, just everything. What did I do? I started over. I dropped my friends as I realised they were drinking buddies and not friends, I changed my job, I upgraded my skills, I got my finances sorted out and moved to another city. I have never looked back since and I have been on a quest ever since to find myself and share the knowledge I have with others.

Lessons From That Night

Nothing and I mean nothing is so bad that you have to take your own life. There are always options and if the worst comes to the worst, drop everything and start again. If you are in this situation just now, please believe me when I say it will get better and there are people who can help.

I’ve learned to tell others how much I love them and how much I appreciate them.

I’ve learned to look for the signs that others might need help.

I mentioned earlier the jacket did not fit, what I realised when I awoke in the hospital was that the jacket can be altered to fit me and I didn’t have to fit the jacket.

I have learned so much more over the years since that night and my long standing depression was lifted in one decision – I will change my life to suit me.

My thoughts:

I stumbled upon this article today while surfing through some personal development blogs and was moved to tears. I particularly enjoyed the way he described his previous life as a jacket put on him that didn't fit him, and how instead, he can alter the jacket to fit him, translating to the idea that you can change your life to suit you! (I'm a sucker for these descriptions I realize).

I think it's amazing that he could share such a deeply personal and private experience with the general public, especially considering the stigma associated with attempted suicide. What really got to me about this article was that the author was selfless enough to put himself on the line so others can benefit (so I'm thinking along the lines of a suicidal reader feeling like they're not alone in feeling that specific way) and get to realize their own potential. That in itself, I believe, is such an inspiration. I want to learn to be more like that.

Song of the moment: Colors by Amos Lee

I'm back!

I am back!

After going off facebook for around 2 months now, I have embarked on a personal journey to rediscover my priorities and form new habits. Amongst them, I have started a new practice of setting aside time each day to self-reflect and write in my journal. I call this my “down time”. During this time, I usually browse through personal development articles, listen to songs and decipher lyrics, and (odd as it may sound) try to put myself in the shoes of others – to see things from different perspectives. So I thought, why not share these articles and my thoughts on them with others. Perhaps I can also share the wonderful things I’ve learned in my journey in becoming a physician and hope that these things will be able to benefit others as much or even more than they did benefit me. A good friend told me that blogs are one way communication modes (this bothered me before), but I remember when she said that the beauty about blogs is you choose what you want to share with others, and what not to. So here it is, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy sharing my thoughts with the anonymous you.

If you listen carefully, almost everyone has something valuable to teach you.

As I’m on my flight back to Townsville, I reflect on my experience travelling solo to Melbourne and Sydney. The best things about this holiday have been very beautiful and indescribable and will be something I will treasure in my heart forever. There were countless memories that I treasure, especially in immersing myself in the beauty of forging relationships with others or simply rekindling an old friendship. To name the many wonderful individuals that I’ve met so far that I feel to have been very fortunate and privileged to meet and have learned something wonderful from each of them:

- Sara’s mom (what a wonderful general practitioner and an all-around very compassionate and caring individual)

- I've gotten to know Sara herself better (she finally convinced me to watch Merlin and I ended up lying on her couch watching the whole of season 1 and 2 within a few days)

- Sara’s sister- Mary anne (impressed by her passion for food and the amount of love she puts into cooking and how close she is to her uncle- who I happened to also connect with- an indian who moved from singapore saying that he found singapore discriminatory and relating that to my experience as a second class citizen in indonesia and opening up my eyes to the existing discrimination in singapore that I’ve never realized before)

- Sara’s classmate Izzy (the most kind hearted and genuine person ive ever met- never seems to have anything bad to say about others)

- Jessica’s good friend Natalia Sutanto (Jessica is my cousin)

- Priscillas friend Anson (who was kind enough to drive us home even though it was out of the way)

- Claudia’s best friend Natalie (Claudia is my childhood friend that I haven’t seen in 10 years) whose mom is addicted to facebook and is actually so involved that she started making applications for facebook

- Claudia’s friend Sujin

- Claudia’s actor Gudi (talked to Gudi about black magic and ghosts and her love for surfing and being impressed that she knows a bit of bahasa indo)

- Claudia’s director of photography Carl (I just love how passionate and good he is at his work with lighting. He also taught me a few things about lighting and corporate videos and why they all look the same essentially)

This is on the set of Claudia & Sujin's short film called the Yellow Kite (Yellow because it symbolizes hope) . I love the wonderful lighting.

- Claudia’s good friend Patrick (who I truly enjoyed talking to about various artwork interpretations, singing karaoke as we are both avid John Mayer fans, life goals and artistic endeavours, relationships, having amazing engrossing conversation at chat thai and eating ramen)

An artwork me and Patty saw in Sydney- I particularly enjoyed this piece because it combines lyrics/poetry with anatomy (the pelvis) and nature (the flower drawn) and coincidentally, I just finished last semester learning about the reproductive system and its associated anatomy. Ironic, isn't it!

- Claudia’s close friend Patty (from Paddys market who is so extremely bubbly and cute and who gives off such a positive and optimistic vibe)

- Claudia’s guy friend Jason (who is a unique individual himself and we connected over smoking shisha and eating Mediterrenean food by the Darling Harbour and identifying with the fact that we don’t feel like we belong to any one particular culture since we moved around so much)

In addition to this, I have rekindled my old friendships (I am still amazed and really grateful how much we still connected after not seeing each other for over 8-10 years).

- With Jessica my cousin, I really valued her kind heartedness, her curiosity in reading personal development books and just being very welcoming. My fondest memories with her were of her making tuna sandwiches in the back of the car and us calling her gendok gendok- which means maid in Bahasa Indonesia. I will also never forget our time at Chocolaterie San Churro sharing that one chocolate churro dish and using our leftover chocolate as ink to draw some artwork on the dish (mind you, there were people around during that time of the day). Also kudos to her idea of taking a picture in front of the park map to pretend that we explored it as we got to Point Nepean Park and didn’t have enough time to explore it. Finally our best flower picture-taking contest at the Melbourne Royal Botanical Gardens that inspired me to take multiple shots of various flowers to result in a final beautiful shot I've titled "Perspective":

Perspective

- With Caroline my other cousin, my fondest memories were of our all you can eat moment when we were wolfing down all the salmon sashimi until the restaurant owner told us that they had a limit. I will also never forget our laughing non-stop shenanigans on the train home from Priscilla’s birthday dinner simply reminiscing of our time living in Singapore. Also, one of the memorable experiences was modeling our Country Road bags at the Cape Schanck Lighthouse with the sun setting in the back

- With Priscilla my other cousin, I truly envy her warmth and kindheartedness towards family members. My fondest memories were of us driving up the mountain in Mornington Peninsula and her driving onto the oncoming lane with her asking the road why it did that, then after a full day trip, supporting the idea of us going to karaoke for 3 hours.

- With Claudia my childhood friend, my fondest memories were of our duet of Earth Wind and Fire’s September and Maroon 5’s Makes Me Wonder, of our late night walk to the Sydney Opera House and having a chat about future life goals. She is still the very kind hearted individual I knew from before. I will never forget the nights where we would stay up until 3am playing Monopoly Deal because none of us wanted to end the night losing.

- With Natasha my Canadian friend, my fondest memories were of watching her sketch while eating ice cream at the Crown Casino’s food court, and asking her about her artistic endeavours and her inspirations. And of course I won’t forget our memorable meal by the Yarra River enjoying our gorgonzola cream cheese risotto.

On top of my encounters with such wonderful people, I decided to put myself out of my comfort zone and made it my goal to have new experiences. That’s exactly what I did. To name a few things that I did that I consider as new experiences:

- going out with a whole group of Indonesian people

- Eating out alone and really immersing myself in the food

- Going to a life drawing and sketching nude models

- Seeing a film shoot and helping out

- Being part of a film as an extra

- Going to an art gallery and actually spending time to decipher the artists’ artwork and then discussing my interpretation of it with someone else

- Trying various German beers (I tried Mango beer at some point)

- Drinking at a pub alone in the middle of the afternoon

- Being in a party that’s being filmed at the same time

- Learning quite a bit about lighting and film making

- Going to club at a progressive trance place

- Sitting in a cadillac and being driven around by a complete stranger (Well it was Jason but to be fair, I barely know him)

- Being treated by a gentleman who bought me and claudia 2 dinners and 2 desserts consisting of tasting variety of hot chocolate (this gentleman never expected anything in return) and having a long honest chat about life

- First ever road trip with my 3 cousins

My wonderful cousins and I posing at the Cape Schanck Lighthouse

- First time at a natural hot spring- we didn't have time to get a proper dinner so we went to Coles, got various potato salads and some chips, begged for a plastic spoon from Baskin Robbins and sat at the mall bench devouring food. Proof: as shown below...

- First time riding a car with Priscilla driving

Since I have started to self-reflect more by setting aside quite a bit of alone time, I have come to realize that even though everybody I’ve met comes from completely different fields, we can all relate and still share a deep bond- Claudia’s friends are all artsy people, Jessica & Priscilla and Caroline’s friends are all business and finance people. It’s one of those moments that just take your breath away. I have also gathered newfound love for reading and in the process, discovering my true fascination with the human brain. This is after searching for my true calling or passion within medicine for so long. I feel like I have discovered a new me just from taking up reading for the past few months. I have also discovered the potential artist within me after visiting various art galleries and realizing that there is an artist in all of us. This reminds me of a quote that I read somewhere that says

“We are all artists, and life itself is our medium.”

It’s safe to say that this has been THE perfect holiday. It was just what I needed- to recharge and start afresh with these new perspectives on life after quite a crappy first half of year. I worked through it and now I’m feeling stronger than ever! I’m glad to be back in Townsville, having my own space and going to hit the books in a couple of days actually. I have truly been humbled by the amount of things that I’ve learned from this trip from everyone and everything. I have truly seen the quote I read somewhere in Melbourne in action that says “If you truly listen, almost everyone has something valuable to teach you”.

So here it goes to my new semester of making more meaningful friendships, complaining less and working on building stronger relationships with my parents and hopefully becoming a better individual and a compassionate future physician.

The start of a beautiful friendship.

Went to tutto bene with tash lukman for lunch. Risotto with gorgonzola cream was delish! I was def delighted. Soo good! Id want to go back also because service was really good as well! Food was decently priced and atmosphere was nice. Id want to try the other restaurants there in southgate too. It was great catching up. Def did not just do small talk. I feel that shes honest about how she feels. I like it. I can relate to her when she says that she often feels like shes not part of any culture. Went to crown to see the casino. This is how luxury living feels like. Somehow it feels too grandeur and just plain wrong. I want to strive to live like warren buffett. Enough to get by and the rest donated to charity.

After seeing a game of roulette (i was mortified when i saw each chip was worth 5 dollars and this lady had a huge stack...all i could think of was the plates of amazing food i could have instead. Wow i think about food wayy too much), anyways, it makes me wonder why do people gamble in spite of knowing they will lose money overall? Its mystifying me. Then i ate rum and raisin ice cream at the crown food court while in the company of tash drawing in her sketchbook. Was delish! It was cool seeing tash sketch, too bad i didnt get a picture of her sketching. Then i asked her about where she gets her inspirations from. She wishes to someday perhaps to be a fashion designer. She wants to live in the suburbs and reckons it would be nice to also have an apartment in the city. Thats a cool idea. Id want a studio in the city where i get away alone and just self reflect and unleash my creativity. Weird but though we were both in canada before, we never really hung out or talked. Somehow i feel that we are in similar shoes with regards to our parent situations. We made plans to hang out in december and i intend to keep it. On the way to southern cross train station on the train, we had a discussion on religion. Didnt know that shes not very religious. Had a great discussion. This could be the start of a blossoming and beautiful friendship.

The Facebook Project

I am stopping my blog updates temporarily as I find that my life is too much of an open book and I have recently found this unsettling because I've come to realize that trust is earned. People should earn your trust first before gaining knowledge about you. Also, I'm beginning to realize that my musings here on this public blog are too one way and I don't really get to understand or find out what the reader (whoever they are) thinks. I miss many face to face conversations. This move to stop blogging temporarily also coincides with my personal project I call "the Facebook Project" that involves me deactivating facebook for a full year for multitudes of reasons that I have chosen not to discuss publicly.

What the f*ck moment

Just woke up. It is currently 1130am. You know when you wake up and try to make yourself feel better by saying that you need at least 8 hours of sleep...well not this time because I went to bed at 130am. EPIC FAIL ON MY PART!!! RAWR RAWR RAWR

This is yet another what the fuck moment.

Slow down everyone, you're moving too fast...

Frames can't catch you when you're moving like that.

Oh, WHAT GLUTTONY!

Oh my goddd. I just got back from KFC&Hungry Jacks after a sudden urge (very very strong craving) to get their Zinger burger, their 2 piece original chicken & mashed potatoes and gravy and an orange pop. GOT ALL OF THAT! Then before leaving the plaza, I went to Hungry Jacks and got myself a vanilla soft serve cone...MMM HEAVEN! (Note, this is after a full dinner of honey soy chicken, steamed white rice AND bananas dipped with chocolate) Well I made myself feel better by studying after eating all of that in kfc AND hungry jack's. So it's not AS BAD...I guess?

all this time while eating all these things I'm thinking to myself OH WHAT GLUTTONY!

I guess today's theme is satisfy your cravings! FML. Obesity, here I come...

Honey soy chicken with ginger

In the spirit of procrastination in the afternoon, I decided to make a honey soy marinade. I've never actually let my food marinate over 2 hours (blame it on my impatience) so I decided to try that today. It was quite rewarding as the flavours really seeped through the chicken! I mixed honey, soy sauce, raw sugar, ginger and garlic and let my chicken thighs sit in this marinade for about 5-6 hours. I then pan fried to brown the chicken and then baked at 175C for 20 minutes (let it bake while I went for an evening jog). Voila! I then ate it with a side of steamed white rice. Yumm! The ginger gave it a more Asian flavour and made me miss home/ my mother's cooking.

Entering Exam Studying Mode

So I officially have 9 full days before my mid year examinations and about 49 lecture topics to cover. Then it's HOLIDAYS (I'm going to Melbourne and Sydney to travel so I def want to have a relaxing and great break!) The amount of material we need to know is quite a lot, so I'm going to revert to what I call my exam studying mode. The plan is to get into my regular early morning jog routine (yes, I stopped jogging before) starting tomorrow. So I'll wake up at 6am, jog until 630am & then have breakfast /shower and start studying for the day. Then in the afternoon I'll go for an intense bike ride (high gear on bike) for 15-20 minutes as a study break. I might even go for a dip in my swimming pool as a break right after my bike ride in the afternoon before going for another shower.

I'm actually looking forward to this to see how well this works!

Chardonnay chicken with potato casserole

I had half a bottle of Chardonnay left to spare so I decided to cook chicken with chardonnay:

Seasoned chicken breast with salt, pepper, thyme and parsley

Pan fried portobello mushrooms and onions

Pan fried chicken breast

Placed chicken in a pot, put in portobello mushrooms, onions and added hot water and garlic cloves and a cup of Chardonnay

Left to cook with the lid on for a couple of minutes (or until chicken was done)

My roomie Pranav decided to make potato casserole

He sauteed onions and sliced mushrooms

Added oregano, chilli, rosemary, thyme, salt

Placed mushrooms and onion mixture in layers with sliced potatoes + parmesan cheese and cheddar cheese in between

Fill the bowl until it's full

At the top, he put extra layers of parmesan cheese and cheddar

Baked at 175C for 30-45 minutes to make sure the potatoes were cooked through (not crunchy)

We decided to share each of our meals and we ended up eating this combination with a small glass of chardonnay on the side.